Remember the first time you had sex? Even if it was awkward, novice teenage sex, in the moments leading up to it, you were probably teeming with an anticipation that simply had to be relieved.
There is a certain electric excitement that’s ignited with new sexual experiences. Whether it’s the first time you sleep with someone, or when you finally have that threesome, “first times” of any sexual encounter have an intoxicating spark. That foreign newness becomes a high. Snippet moments of those encounters may replay again and again. The rhythm, intensity, build-up, and release – it all becomes a permanently etched in our minds.
This is what lures people into swinging, and it’s what keeps them coming back. Sex is powerful – a lot more so than those in a sexually stale relationship may care to admit. When we consciously explore new sexual experiences, mind-blowing experiences can be had.
Why couples choose to swing
Generally, there are three main reasons why people swing:
- To experience the excitement of having sex with a new person
- To explore sexual fantasies and fetishes
- To enrich one’s sex life
Really, it’s quite simple. People enjoy sex. Some people desire sexual experiences involving others. In fact, many sexual fantasies involve additional people. Think threesomes, foursomes, “moresomes” (orgies), or being watched by others while having sex. None of these are possible with only two bodies!
Another thought often pondered is what is it like to have sex with a new person, or multiple people? The mind is a naturally curious thing. Basically, we know that a large number of fantasies, fetishes, and desires are outright impossible to fulfil in a traditional, monogamous relationship. So what is one to do?
Sadly, cheating is often what people resort to. When partners feel they cannot fulfil their sexual desires in their current situation, they may find it elsewhere. And that’s just hurtful.
Sexual distancing can be another consequence of suppressed desires. Couples can become bored with each other, getting off mostly or even exclusively on their own (e.g. via toys or porn), or worse yet, have a once active sex life dwindle into a “dead bedroom”. And all of that sucks.
So, is sexual boredom or a sexless relationship a good reason to swing?
In short: no, swinging is not the solution for all relationships. This is especially true for ones riddled with deeper issues. However, it can be groundbreaking for many.
Indeed swinging can be a godsend to sexual blahs. However, this is only the case when some very important conditions are in place. I’ve written before about the 5 signs you’re probably ready to swing, but in a nutshell, you need to be secure in yourself, your relationship, and be comfortable communicating emotions (good and bad), at any time.
It cannot be stated enough that both partners need to genuinely want to swing. Forcing someone into something they don’t want to do isn’t going to end well. Finally, swinging shouldn’t be viewed as a last hope. Sex with other people can’t fix an otherwise crumbling relationship!
The perks of swinging
Renewed sexual excitement
One of the major benefits of swinging is its inspirational impact on sex lives. Many couples find a rekindling of their attraction for one another after swinging. Seeing someone (or several people!) lusting over your partner? Yeah, that’s a pretty good reminder that you scored well in the partner department. Boo ya, bitches!
Then there’s the revisiting of hot and heavy memories. It’s like porn playing in your head, only the stars are you and your partner. Warning: talking and re-imagining swinging moments is pretty much guaranteed to insta-ignite horniness, lust, and steamy AF sex.
Having sex with other people
This is a dream few “normal” couples attain: having sex with someone other than your partner. And yep, it’s pretty fucking awesome (pun intended). Sexual spontaneity is a major reason why many people don’t want to “settle” into serious relationships. But when non-monogamy is considered, everyone can have their cake and eat it too.
Fulfilling fantasies and fetishes
Exploring fantasies and fetishes is a definite attraction of swinging. Threesomes, for instance, are one of the commonest fantasies out there. But where to find a partner who’s consenting, and not already known to the partners (for there are certainly dangers in trying to woo a friend into a threesome!)? Swinging provides a safe, accessible setting to fulfil such desires and fantasies.
When the cap of monogamy is popped off, a flood of tantalizing experiences can be had. For those who are curious, secure in themselves and in their relationships, swinging can be an epic experience. If you’re interested, keep reading, ask questions, talk with your partner, and get curious! 🙂